I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
Isn’t it strange? There are so many people out there who secretly love someone. And there are so many people out there who have no idea that someone secretly loves them.
Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.
He told me one day when we were together that I don’t look like I would fight for him.
I replied with why should I? If you’re set on not being with me & it’s not working at all, why should I try to force him to stay with me.
Everytime I’ve tried, the others didn’t want me talking to them, they were done with me & didn’t want anything to do with me. I’ve been in situations as those, so tell me why should I do it when it’ll only make things worse? Why should I keep bothering him when I know not to keep my hopes up?
Last week I talked to his sister about her previous relationship issues. She talked about fighting for someone. I’ve never understood how or what it took to do this. Her mother always taught her that if there’s something you really want you will fight until its no longer what you want anymore. His sister wasn’t ready to give up on her guy. No matter what he did, she kept fighting. How did she do this though? How was she able to keep him coming back? What made her different?
In a relationship there must be trust but how do you build trust especially when neither of you are able to truly trust someone? Where you’ve encountered so many bad relationships, bad people, that gave you a reason not to ever let someone give you high hopes? To not ever fall in love with him. How do I love him without losing him?
When you both have the power to easily sleep with someone else, see someone who isn’t as damaged or fucked up as you are. It’s difficult to have that trust because how can you truly trust in a relationship when there wasn’t much to begin with?
It’s confusing. It’s dangerous.
But honestly out of all these ruminating thoughts, the only person I want is him & no one else. I would fight for him & I treat him too good. I take care & lookout for anyone who gives me a good reason to do so. I’d do anything just for a smile or a laugh. You mean too much to me.
Yet too often I let my insecurities take over & I know that it affects us greatly. No matter how much you’re able to keep it in, I know because I can see it. It hurts because I keep doing this.
I’m letting myself ruin something good that’s come into my life.
As quick as it happened. As fast as I fell for you. I don’t want to lose you so quick & I don’t want a lie either. I just want you.
At age 6, I told my mom and dad that I was going to be a doctor because they instilled in me that it was the only way to succeed in the US.
At age 13, I told them that I was going to be a video game designer because I loved playing video games everyday after school.
At age 17, I told them that I was going to be a politician because I wanted to represent for the underrepresented.
At age 21, I told them that I was going to be an academic because I wanted to change the way people think.
At age 24, I tell them that - whether or not I become any of these things - I am going to make them proud.
Love says: I’ve seen the ugly parts of you, and I’m staying.